Rule breaking at its finest

I'm sure this is against internet and blog rules, but this is just too funny...I have to repost it. Of course, if you're not a Lostie, you're not gonna get it. ***Gotta give full credit where credit is due - this comes from McSweeney's.*** THE OPENING ACT FROM THE ORIGINAL,UNUSED TELEPLAY OF LOST'S PILOT EPISODE. BY ANDREW BRIDGMAN - - - - JACK: OK, everyone, gather round. I'm Jack. We crashed on this island. I'm kind of an alcoholic, and I had a really complicated relationship with my father, Christian, who was also an alcoholic. CLAIRE: Christian Shepherd? That's my dad, too! JACK: No way! SAWYER: Oh, yeah, I know that guy, too. I met him at a bar. He's proud of you. JACK: You met my dad? SAWYER: Yeah, I met him right before I killed this guy I thought had ruined my life as a child. He was a con man who went by "Sawyer" and had an affair with my mother and then my dad found out and killed her and himself. It was ugly. LOCKE: No way! That sounds just like my dad! He stole my kidney and then paralyzed me. KATE: Paralyzed people can't walk. LOCKE: Don't tell me what I can't do! I can walk now, obviously. I think this island is magic or something crazy like that. KATE: Know what else is crazy? I killed my stepdad, who was actually my dad, by blowing up the house he was in. Then I went on the run for a long time. That marshall guy that's dying there was taking me to the U.S. to put me in jail.

(The "monster noise" is heard in the jungle.)

CHARLIE: What was that, mates? HURLEY: I think it was a monster made of smoke that's floating around for some reason. CHARLIE: That's bloody weird. Almost as bloody weird as me being a heroin addict due to my rock band, DriveShaft, and my brother, Liam. HURLEY: Oh, yeah, you guys were popular right around the time I won the lottery thanks to some cursed, mysterious, omnipresent numbers. You guys suck. SUN: Ha! They totally do. SHANNON: You speak English? SUN: Yeah, I do. Hey, Jin. JIN: (Something in Korean.) SUN: I speak English. I also had an affair with a bald guy, who taught it to me, then he killed himself, or maybe I killed him. But you can't blame me, right? You used to be a really nice guy before we got married and I paid off a blackmail debt to your prostitute mother by taking a loan from my father, which led him to make you his guy who beat the shit out of people, which destroyed your soul. I hope we reconcile and you gradually learn English. Wanna go in that tent and see if we can get me knocked up? JIN: ... Boat? (JIN and SUN go into their tent.) SAYID: While they're doing that, we should try to figure out how to get off this island. I need to get back to Nadia, this chick I used to like and who I sorta tortured once. I'm from Iraq. Did I mention that? MICHAEL: No. Hey, where'd Walt go? SAYID: Oh, some grungy-lookin' pirates took him. MICHAEL: WAAAAAAALT! WAAAAAAALT! I wanted to be there for him, but his mom was a bitch and took him away from me. I'm trying to get to know him now. Sucks that he got kidnapped. LOCKE: Hey, while you guys were talking, I found some door in the jungle. JACK: Did you open it? LOCKE: Yeah, there was a Scottish guy in there, and I made him stop pressing some button. It just exploded and released a bunch of electromagnetic energy, so the island is visible to the outside world again. DESMOND: Hi, bruthas. I'm Desmond. I can kinda see the future. Charlie, you're gonna die. CHARLIE: OK, I'll go swim to an underwater station so we can all get rescued. DESMOND: Sounds good. Then I can reunite with this chick I liked but got separated from due to her father's meddling. It was kinda like The Notebook. ROUSSEAU: I found this guy in the jungle. BEN: My name is Henry Gale! SAYID: Really? BEN: No, it's Benjamin Linus. I'm an Other, which means I'm part of this group of people who were on the island before you guys. I was initially part of the DHARMA Initiative, but it was purged by me and other people who have been on the island a long time and may or may not be immortal. It's complicated. ROUSSEAU: They whisper. BEN: Right. I'm really manipulative. If you help me escape, Michael, I'll give you back Walt. He makes birds run into doors. I don't like that and neither does Jacob, the cabin-ghost guy who runs this island. MICHAEL: OK. (Shoots off into the distance.) I just killed Libby and Ana Lucia. Trust me, they're on the other side of the island. Tail section. BEN: OK, here's Walt back. Get on this boat and then go sneak onto the freighter that's coming to kill us. MICHAEL: OK. (MICHAEL and WALT get on the boat and sail off.) ALEX: Hey, Dad, what're you doing here? BEN: Hi, Alex, this is your mother. ROUSSEAU: Hey, I've been looking for you for 16 years. ALEX: Weirdo. JACK: Hey, Kate. KATE: Yeah? JACK: Pick me or Sawyer. KATE: Who's Sawyer? SAWYER: Me. KATE: Oh, OK. I dunno. Sawyer, I guess. SAWYER: Thanks, Freckles. BOONE: I'm gonna go die now. LOCKE: Yeah, the island's been saying it demands a sacrifice. Go for it, kid. (First commercial break.)

just because

I am bored, and rather than continue to stuff my face with yogurt covered cheerios, I decided to do little quizzes/games like this: 83%LUSH
OnePlusYou Quizzes & Widgets Given my reputation, I'm not quite sure how this is even possible.....
OnePlusYou Quizzes & Widgets

lackadaisical

Yep, that's me. About once a week I think, 'man, I haven't blogged in a while', but then I think about it some more and realize that I don't really have much to say. So, just to get something out there, I'm gonna throw out some random tidbits: Georgie seems to be adjusting pretty well to being a part of the family. I think she has some separation anxiety issues, but I'm hoping they will work themselves out over time. I have my own issues, too, and I find that I need to keep reminding myself that Georgie and Tea are/were two different dogs, and therefore will have totally different personalities. Just because Georgie doesn't do things that Tea did doesn't mean I should be taking it personally. She's having a stay at the vet next week to take care of a health condition that I'm not thrilled she has: heartworm. I am glad that its not too far advanced and she should recover nicely, but there's an incubation period involved, which means she had this when we got her. So needless to say, I have some questions for the people we adopted her from. I mean how easy is that to prevent?

Spring seems to be in gear around here, at least for the most part. Even though these babies are blooming, there was still a day or two earlier this week when I had to bust out the winter coat. Mama Nature needs to make up her mind. In any case, its been really nice to see flowers that I didn't even know were there popping up around the yard. And its been great to get Georgie on the lead we installed in the back yard, so she can romp around a little and enjoy being outside.

My youngest nephew, Ryan, who is also my godson, made his first communion last weekend. This is a picture of us with my two oldest nieces. This being the fifth communion in this particular part of the family in the same church, I found that I didn't need the hymnal to sing along with the songs during the mass. At the party after church, it was so strange to me to see Ryan carrying around a friend's baby....so odd to think that the baby of the family has grown up so much, or for that matter, how all the kids have grown. I have been a part of the family for 11 years now, actually met most of the extended family at the first birthday party of the girl on the right in that picture. I don't realize how time passes until I look at the kids. Then I feel old!

This is part of a little project that I am working on. G and I are making some items to sell on Etsy. We are using the profits we make to help sponsor G's sister-in-law, Jill, in the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in the fall. We don't have anything up for sale yet, but we have created our shop. It is called Treasures 4 Chests. Get it? I'm not sure when we will be adding our items, probably once we get a good stock assembled, but bookmark us and keep checking. If you'd like to make something or have something already made that you'd like to donate for us to sell, please email one of us. It doesn't have to be just scrappy stuff....anything handmade. Or if you just want to donate, there is a link at the Etsy shop for that, too. As most people who read this know, breast cancer hits very close to home for me. When G said she wanted to do this, I was quick to jump on board. So keep a look out and I hope you'll help us!!